5 Secrets about Married Sex

People might crack jokes about the lack of sex you’re going to have when you get married, but they rarely offer up any useful advice on the subject. Whether you’ve had sex millions of times or never before, you will learn something new once you’re married.

I’m not just referring to positions or reaching greater levels of intimacy, I’m talking about separating the fact from fiction and learning about the benefits of married sex at womendateonline.com. Here’s what you might not know:

5 Secrets about Married Sex
Couple holding smartphones with their pictures on

Married people have more sex.

Study after study has proven that married people have more sex than their single friends. So, when someone tells you that you’re kissing your sex life good-bye when you say, “I do,” remind him of this fact. It’s also true that married people have more varied sex and more oral sex, according to the Huffington Post, which cites Laura Berman, the sexual health expert. When you think about it, this makes sense. Single people have to find a partner and convince him or her to have sex. You already have someone in your bed every night. Also, single people have to worry about diseases. Presumably, you and your spouse have been tested, are healthy, and will not be risking catching anything with someone else. If one of you came into the relationship with an STD, you have already learned how to deal with it and protect yourselves appropriately. 

Babies will interfere with your sex life. 

Having children changes your life

 in many ways. One of them is that you can’t possibly have an active sex life after kids as you had before them. You’re stretched too thin. They physically come between you and your spouse (maybe by hopping into your bed or crying as you are about to get it on). Your free time ends up being spent doting on them, which takes away from time with your partner. The good news is that this is temporary because kids grow up. In the meantime, there are nap times, grandparents or nannies for babysitting, and date nights and vacations you can take without the kids. You can also get creative by showering together in the morning while the baby is still sleeping or staying up a few minutes later for a quickie at night after the baby is fast asleep. You’ll come up with something.

Sex won’t be as boring as you think. 

As you already know married people have more sex and more varied sex than singles. So, maybe, you got cold feet at your wedding at the thought of sleeping with the same person forever. You can set that thought aside because sex with your spouse won’t be as boring as you think. When you get comfortable with each other – and grow intimacy – you become more open to trying new things. This might mean discussing fantasies (or even living them out), attempting new positions, or just feeling more connected outside the bedroom (which does wonders for what goes on inside the bedroom). Think about it. You have a sex partner for life. You never have to do without it if you don’t want to. And there’s more of a chance that you’ll get to spice things up once in a while.

You don’t have to fake it. 

Ever since Harry met Sally, we as a society have been discussing the fake orgasm. Women fake orgasms to get the sex act over with quicker and/or to allow their partner to save face. When you’re married, if you have a good relationship with your spouse and you communicate well, there’s no need for faking it. There might be times when you enjoy the sexual act without actually having an orgasm and other times when you’ll be able to tell your spouse exactly what buttons to push for you to get there. You might get better at foreplay together, which can help you achieve the big O, too. The point is that you don’t have to put on a show or lie about how good it was.

Initiating sex won’t make you seem too aggressive. 

Men love it when their wives initiate sex, so women should feel free to do so without worrying about what others think. After all, you’re married, so this is not only all right; it’s encouraged. Husbands can initiate sex – or even just cuddling – without feeling like a bad guy or a wuss (people expect you to spoon your wife). In other words, you can feel free to have sex with your spouse – or at least express the desire to have sex – without feeling like lice. By the way, it’s okay to admit you like sex with your spouse, too. Really. And it’s definitely okay to just cuddle once in a while.