You are likely to have at least one casual date experience if you’re 30 years old or younger. You’ve likely had at least five casual dating experiences if you are 25 years old or younger. What is it exactly? It’s a relationship, although we use the term loosely, that involves sex and other dynamic of regular dating but does not involve commitment or the dynamics that formal relationships have. It’s clear as day, right? Wrong. It’s still the most popular form of relationship among millennials. It is not clear why it began, how it came to be, or who it was intended to be. We know it exists and don’t know if we love or hate it. The term is an oxymoron. It sounds easy, light and casual to think about dating casually. It gets more complicated, unfortunately. These are the worst things about casual dating, which we all hate and want to stop.
- How to determine the do’s and don’ts of texting.
- Drinking while drunk can lead to embarrassing and bizarre behavior.
- The fear that STDs can haunt you.
- Do you want to stay up all night? Do you want to cuddle?
- Remind yourself to not talk about the past or any personal issues.
- They can make you feel uncomfortable and anxious.
- It can be difficult to know what to call them, or how to handle your situation.
- Overthinking everything is a constant.
How to determine the do’s and don’ts of texting.
Friends will advise you to not text them first. If you are looking for sex, your sister will tell it to you. Because you two have a thing, your sorority sisters will tell him to text him. You’re sitting there thinking, “So do I flush my phone down now or later?” You decide to send them a text. You wait for their response, then wait another five minutes. Then 20. Then you feel like a freaky clingy person and decide to never talk to them again in order to regain control. Two hours later, they reply, saying, “Sorry! I was in class!” You’re then like, “What are you doing tonight?” And you think, “Wow we are completely dating. I wonder when it will be official on Facebook.” This long tangent is to say that texting casual daters is bad! It can mess with your head, making things complicated, which is frustrating.
Drinking while drunk can lead to embarrassing and bizarre behavior.
When I say “freaky stuff”, I don’t mean doing crazy things in bed. Acting like a weirdo is what I mean. Also, you can call the person you are casually seeing 42 times in a single hour. Or, puking in their beds. Oder worse, PEEING in their bed. Telling them that you love them. You get my drift? These things can happen to you while you’re drunk, and it is nearly impossible to come back from such tragic events. It’s okay to be sloppy or weird when drunk, but it can be a fatal flaw in a serious relationship. What are you supposed do? Stop drinking. Ha! Ha!
The fear that STDs can haunt you.
Yes, people, sexually transmitted disease isn’t always ideal. Casual dating is not monogamy so you don’t know who the other person is. This can be quite distressing. It’s okay to not ask them about their other relationships. This could make it seem like you are trying to be exclusive. You want to be relaxed. On the other hand, it is important that you are able to discuss something that could put your health at risk. Because you want to be healthy. It’s a Catch 22.
Do you want to stay up all night? Do you want to cuddle?
Casual dating is all about the sex. It would be pointless without it. If you come over on a weeknight to watch “Netflix and Chill”, would you assume you will spend the night there? You would be foolish to assume you are. You should go, but don’t take an overnight bag. If you do, you could get an infection by putting your contacts in your eyes. You’ll get the worst night of sleep if you spend the night there. Every hour you wake up, you worry about snoring or drooling. Then there’s cuddling. Cuddling seems like something that should only be done with serious, committed couples. It’s intimate. You’re then like, “Well, we casually fuck,” and that’s as intimate and intimate as you can get. So why is cuddling so important? Cue frustrated gestures.
Remind yourself to not talk about the past or any personal issues.
Talking about your parents, dream job, and your fears with someone you are casually dating is not something you want to do. They don’t care. They don’t care. There is only a superficial connection. It’s unlikely that you will spend the night talking about the camping trip that made your life better or the time that you lost your virginity. It’s not like it’s going to be a Fourth of July barbecue in February. Remember to say “Oh, right! This is temporary!”
They can make you feel uncomfortable and anxious.
Your makeup is always on your face. You’re constantly aware of how your hair looks and the position you are sitting in. Before you speak, you think twice. This sounds fun! No! It’s frustrating, but it is true. It’s not easy to know what your situation is together, so you don’t feel completely comfortable.
It can be difficult to know what to call them, or how to handle your situation.
What do you think if someone asks if you are seeing someone? You could make a simple situation much more complicated if you answer yes. Are you technically lying if you say no? What if you and your friends are out to a bar together and you decide to kiss? Your friends say, “Oh my God Kate, is this the new guy I’m seeing?” The guy is like Woah, since when is our relationship considered “seeing” one another? Palm, face.
Overthinking everything is a constant.
This list is easy to understand. It is easy to get bogged down in casual dating. Casual dating will always be a gray area. Because of this, there will always be overthinking.